Stupid Juice
When I was a kid, not too many decades ago, my friends and I coined the term “Stupid Juice”.
Stupid Juice is a powerful, and in many cases, toxic substance. It is found in males of all species, both human and non-human, and is the primary cause of death in adult human males.
In high school, Stupid Juice runs rampant during the spring in the form of bloodied noses, disgruntled girlfriends and failed classes as this toxic substance courses through the veins of its victims.
The main symptom of Stupid Juice poisoning is the disregarding of reality in favor of an imagined one. Insecure, pimple faced pubescent boys turn into tall, dark, raging Casanovas bent on world domination.
While Stupid Juice poisoning peaks during the teen years, it never quite subsides during the lifespan of human males.
I myself am not immune to it’s effects, recently while on a training exercise designed to subdue an out of control individual, I surprised my co-workers when it came my turn to “be apprehended” by plowing into the assembled officers, tossing them aside and escaping the confines of my “cell”. During the high fives and congratulations from my fellow officers, the insidious poison worked its way into my brain, and much to my surprise, I heard in what sounded remarkably like my own voice, “Ha! I bet I can do that again!” Mind you, this was addressed to five armored officers who were just seconds ago thrown to the ground by an old fat guy who caught them by surprise, and eager for retribution.
Torn meniscus and medial collateral ligament in my right knee. Thank you Stupid Juice.
Even after all this, the juice continues to flow. The youngest and smallest of the officers claims to have been the one to “bring me down”, despite the other four others riding on my back forcing me to the ground.
Gee, Dan. This sounds like an article in the DOC’s safety magazine, if they have one.
Time for the cyber upgrades! We have the technology…
I would like this a LOT more, if you would answer your e-mail! Are you, like, dead?
As far as supid juice is concerned, it is not confined solely to men. Sadly, stupidity is a human trait, not a male one.
That’s why it’s so important to avoid “accepted” and institutionalized forms of stupidity, like getting in a relationship, making your partner miserable, then complaining that they are a complete failure. He/she is miserable, and, thus doesn’t do very well at things? Fancy that!
I once knew of a man who didn’t like his wife to take classes, twice a week. The classes made her happy, gave her something to talk about. She even took the kids with her, so he wouldn’t have to perform childcare.
Happy spouse = faithful spouse, after all. It’s when they’re miserable that people perform their worst. And flub up the worst.
I’m often shocked by human behavior, color me optimistic, but I keep hoping for better.
you are an idiot!!!!